So, you want a manager? Here's what NOT to do!

Your manager is the one who will always stand behind your every move and do all they can to make things work in your favor. In a way, your manager is your #1 fan. So it makes sense to have a strong and positive relationship with your manager, right? You don’t want just anyone to be your manager, right?

Below I am going to translate a recent real life conversation* I had with someone, looking for a manager, into what it might sound like as small talk at a bar. Learn from his mistakes. (Or just read for a good laugh and imagine how awkward this was for me.)

 

Artist to Manager
Setting: Artist exiting bathroom &
manager exiting office

“Hi, what’s up, what do you do in there?”

"Artist Management"

“Who do you work with?”

“Sarah Jarosz and the Steep Canyon Rangers”

(Pause / Blank stare…)

“Americana, folk, bluegrass…"

“Oh, how do you even go about getting a manager?”

“Ummm... Meet people and make relationships”

“Hi, I'm Sam*, what’s your name?”

“Katherine"

“I don’t want to keep you, but ya know I play downtown on Broadway at Legends, Tooties, The Stage and this Vegas casino books me at least six times a year and I do it because I’ve seen people go before me and make it. I know my time will come. I’ve got like 11 friends with #1 hits right now. And you know what?? My publishing company is just screwing me over! I met with Andrew* the other day and he told me to play shows and do co-writes. Well you know what, I told him he obviously didn’t remember telling me that exact same BS answer 3.5 years ago. He told me to ask my friends for advice, but that’s just not cool. So, I’m leaving them! You know what, do you mind if I give you one of my CDs?”
 

shh-gif


“Sure”

“Here you go, I hope you like it... but if you don’t you have my permission to throw it out the window, stomp on it, throw it away, whatever.”

“Oh, ok, thanks, Sam”

“Thank you Katherine”

“Bye"

Katherine gets in car and... 

Listens to album while driving home because after that conversation, how could you not!?

Moral of the story... 

Don’t throw your music on someone just because they work in artist management. Do you even know if they are taking on new clients? If you want to make management connections, ask questions, invite them to your shows… if they’re interested, they’ll let you know!

that's-all

Guy to Girl
Setting: Guy exiting bathroom &
girl entering bar

“Hi, what’s up, what are you doing tonight?”

“Meeting up with some friends”

“Who are your friends?”

“I don’t think you’d know them"

“Oh, how do you even go about meeting friends?”

“Ummm... Go out and be social"

“I’m Sam*, what’s your name?”

"Katherine"

“I don’t want to keep you, but ya know I have a Match, Hinge, Tinder, and I go on blind dates at least six times a year and I do it because I’ve seen people do that and find the one. I know my time will come. I’ve got like 11 married friends. And you know what?? My therapist is just screwing me over! I met with Andrew the other day and he told me to hang out in group settings and meet people out and about. Well you know what, I told him he obviously didn’t remember telling me that exact same BS answer 3.5 years ago. He told me to ask my friends for advice, but that’s just not cool. So I’m not gonna see him anymore! You know what, do you mind if I give you one of my business cards?”
 

shh-gif


“Sure”

“Here you go, I hope you like me... but if you don’t you have my permission to throw this out the window, shred it, throw it away, whatever.”

“Oh, ok, thanks, Sam”

“Thank you Katherine”

“Bye"

Katherine sits at bar and... 

Looks up on Facebook so she can show friends what he looks like while telling story...

Moral of the story... 

Don’t throw all your problems at a girl you don’t know and then give her your number. Do you even know if she’s single? If you think she might be girlfriend material, ask questions, get to know her, take her to dinner… if she’s interested, she’ll let you know!

napoleon-dynamite-boyfriends-skills

Katherine Forbes

Nashville, TN